Re-thinking church

[avanta7]

So I've had my membership at St Mark's UMC for the last year and a half or so. I like this congregation a lot. Their "politics" and world view are progressive and welcoming. They truly practice the Methodist slogan "Open hearts, open minds, open doors." And it's a reconciling congregation, which is important to me.

But due to the distance (over 40 miles, and about 1 hour's drive), I've been a sporadic attendee to say the least. I might make choir rehearsal once a month, and maybe two Sunday services a month at best. With the prospect of adding children to our home in the near future, it looks like participation in this particular congregation is going to fall by the wayside -- it's just too far to drive several times a week for children's and adult activities.

You may remember I went to Sacramento because none of the churches in this immediate area was progressive enough to suit me. (I even considered switching denominations!) I doubt much has changed in the last 18 months.

Regardless, I'm considering transferring membership to Marysville First UMC. Conservative and fusty as it is, it's the closest Methodist church to home, and it will be much easier to maintain an active relationship there for me and the children. But I struggle with this. Can I compromise my progressive position in regard to the church's stance on GLBT and other social issues simply to make participation in church activities easier for my children? Will being raised in a conservative congregation teach my children intolerance? What happens if the minister preaches a sermon with which I disagree vehemently?

Spouse is not a believer so all religious education decisions are left to me; our compromise over the issue: when the children reach their majority, they can decide whether or not to continue. And when asked about this issue, he says, "Do what you think best." *sigh*

I'm open to suggestions, advice, criticism and/or a kick in the pants.

Comments

[shendoah.livejournal.com]

*edit* Can you go to a conservative church, stand by your progressive beliefs and raise children with tolerance and love? Yes. Absolutely.

It can be a struggle perhaps, but it will allow you to truly act as an example to your kids. Even when it's tough, you will stand in faith with your beliefs.

When you disagree, it's an optimal time to discuss with your kids WHY you disagree. And you may find more progressive parents there as a result, and give you a community of your own.

[explodingalice.livejournal.com]

That's actually an excellent point. If you do feel compelled to move to the closer church, you can stand firm in your own beliefs and impart that same sensibility to your children.

[avanta7.livejournal.com]

You are a wise woman. Thanks for being my friend.

[explodingalice.livejournal.com]

What a tough decision. As trite as it may seem, the best I can say to you on this is to go with your heart. I think that choosing a church, a spiritual home, where you feel you will be uncomfortable and possibly unhappy, is a compromise that maybe you shouldn't make. I would think that quality should weigh more than quantity in this case. If you receive the spiritual guidance and family that you truly want at the farther out church, that can sustain you during the times you can't make it! This is just me - you may feel led in a different direction, and I hope you can come to a decision that makes you happy. *hugs*

[avanta7.livejournal.com]

Thank you. *hugs back*