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avanta7 ([personal profile] avanta7) wrote2004-10-30 08:19 pm

Grandma's 95th Birthday Party, or How I Alienated Half My Relatives

As soon as I walked in the door at Mom's house, she put me to work. I became Beetle Bailey. Yes, I was assigned the lowly chore of peeling the potatoes. Scrape, scrape, scrape into the sink. Aunt Marsha says, be careful, potato peels that thin will clog the disposal. I've never had trouble before, I respond. Scrape, scrape, scrape. Run the water and grind, grind, grind. The water backs up a little but continuous grinding under running water makes it all go away. Dice, dice, dice. Pot, water, lid, heat. Out onto the patio I go.

Back in the house five minutes later to warm up my cup of coffee. Uncle Earl is at the sink with a plunger. Oops. It clogged after all. Mother is not happy. Uncle Earl is not happy. I should have listened to Aunt Marsha. Bless her heart, she had the grace not to say I told you so, at least not within my earshot.

Daddy grilled burgers and dogs. Chili, potato salad, chips, and green salad, plus two desserts, rounded out the menu. We all ate our fill, played with the kids, traded family gossip, and looked at the old photos. This many family members in one place was the perfect opportunity to get more of those anonymous relatives identified. And we did, especially those photos of various second cousins and their kids.

After being outside most of the afternoon, I went back in the living room and was looking at photos again while some of my older relatives were discussing politics in the dining room. I listened with half an ear while my Uncle Johnny gently disagreed with the anti-same sex-marriage stance of the others in the room and said something about gay people attending church. And then Aunt Sybil (Grandma's youngest sister) said, "Just because someone attends church doesn't mean they're Christian. Gays can't be Christians."

I'm on my feet and in the door to the dining room before I know what I'm doing. "Oh yes they can" pops out of my mouth. I proceed to explain to all my fundamentalist relatives (including my mother's brother William and his wife Fae) how a number of the congregants at my church are gay, and they are as active in the church as anyone else; they love the Lord and they serve the Lord, and their faith is no less valid than my own simply because they are gay. "If that were so, they wouldn't live that lifestyle. The Bible says..." Paul says that, I reply, and that's Paul's opinion. If Christ had been concerned about homosexuality, I believe he'd have mentioned it Himself.

Aunt Sybil's mouth works a little bit. Everyone else is silent. I go to the kitchen and out the back door to the patio. I sit down at the table across from my mother, who takes one look at me and asks, "What happened?" I had a disagreement about a social issue with one of my older relatives, I say. "Oh?" With Aunt Sybil. "Oh no." Horrified tone of voice: "What did you say?" I told her. "Oh, Angela. She'll never speak to you again."

She's right. Aunt Sybil holds grudges. She never forgets anything, and she hates it if someone disagrees with her because her opinions are always the correct opinions.

Tough tits. I am not apologetic nor ashamed.

Woo Hoo!

[identity profile] marina-wolf.livejournal.com 2004-10-31 02:14 am (UTC)(link)
You go girl!

One of these days I'll find out about a pro-gay rights rally *before* the fact, and attend.

-M

Re: Woo Hoo!

[identity profile] avanta7.livejournal.com 2004-10-31 03:43 am (UTC)(link)
Not being a rally attender, you go in my stead. I'll just keep agitating at the one-on-one level. :-)
(deleted comment)

[identity profile] avanta7.livejournal.com 2004-10-31 03:40 am (UTC)(link)
Oh, let's not EVEN discuss the racism among the older set, and some of the younger as well. Apparently there's no contradiction in professing Christianity and spouting racist remarks in general conversation. It's not even malicious. It's casual and matter-of-fact. (I heard none today, luckily, or that conversation would have been yet another black mark against me.)

*insert sarcasm*

[identity profile] shendoah.livejournal.com 2004-10-31 08:00 am (UTC)(link)
Yeah, that whole never forgetting and never forgving and holding a grudge till you die is a real Christian attitude too.

*done sarcasm*

I do not discuss religion, politics or any combination around my parents/family. Just SO not worth it.

Good for you for standing up to them.

[identity profile] greedyreader.livejournal.com 2004-10-31 12:50 pm (UTC)(link)
Good for you! And if Aunt Sybil doesn't speak to you anymore, it is her loss.